Ceremonies & Rituals
Under the Chuppah: The Shape of a Jewish Wedding Ceremony
The ceremony joins two originally separate rites, which is why it has the structure it does and why the glass is broken at the end.
There is a short answer about the structure of a Jewish wedding and a useful one, and they are not the same. What follows is the useful one.
The short version
- Kiddushin and nisuin were once separate and are now combined.
- The ketubah is signed and witnessed before the ceremony.
- Practice differs across denominations and between Ashkenazi and Sephardi communities.
Two ceremonies in one
A Jewish wedding combines kiddushin, the betrothal, and nisuin, the marriage proper, which in earlier periods were separated by a considerable interval. That history explains the structure, since the reading of the ketubah between the two parts marks the join between them.
Each part has its own cup of wine and its own blessings, which is why wine appears twice rather than once. Understanding the join makes the sequence follow logically rather than seeming like a series of unrelated moments. Practice differs across Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist communities, and between Ashkenazi and Sephardi or Mizrahi custom.
Before the ceremony
The ketubah, the marriage document setting out obligations, is signed and witnessed before the ceremony begins. In many Ashkenazi communities the badeken, the veiling of the bride by the groom, takes place shortly beforehand. Some communities hold a tish, a gathering with study and singing, and Sephardi and Mizrahi families often hold a henna celebration in the days before.
In many observant communities the couple fast on the wedding day until the ceremony, treating it as a day of atonement for them. These preliminaries vary widely, and the couple's own rabbi is the person to ask about what applies.
The chuppah and the circling
The chuppah is a canopy open on all sides, commonly understood as representing the home the couple will build and its openness to guests. In many traditions the bride circles the groom, often seven times, and in egalitarian ceremonies the couple may circle each other.
On the day itself, parents frequently accompany the couple to the chuppah, which is a notable difference from ceremonies where one party waits at the front. The ceremony is conducted under the canopy with the immediate family and the officiant present within it. It may be indoors or outdoors, and some communities prefer it under the open sky.
The ring, the ketubah and the blessings
Kiddushin is effected when the groom places a ring on the bride's finger and speaks a declaration in the presence of two valid witnesses. The ring is traditionally plain and unbroken, and in many communities the giving is one-directional, while egalitarian ceremonies include a mutual exchange. The ketubah is then read aloud, marking the transition to the second part of the ceremony.
Once the deposit is paid, nisuin consists of the sheva brachot, seven blessings recited over a second cup of wine, sometimes by different honoured guests.
The blessings move outward from the couple to the community and to a wider hope, which is worth explaining to guests.
Breaking the glass and yichud
The ceremony concludes with the breaking of a glass, usually by the groom, and it is the moment guests recognise even when they know nothing else. It is most commonly explained as a remembrance of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and more broadly of brokenness within joy. The couple then withdraw for yichud, a short period alone together, which in traditional practice carries legal significance as well as practical relief.
That interval is also the only quiet the couple will have all day, which is one reason couples from other traditions envy it. The celebration that follows commonly includes dancing, and in many communities the couple are lifted on chairs.
Timing and practical constraints
Weddings are not held on Shabbat or on certain festivals in observant practice, and there are periods of the calendar when they are traditionally avoided. This narrows available dates considerably and should be checked with your rabbi before any venue is booked. Kashrut requirements affect catering fundamentally and involve the kitchen rather than only the menu, which constrains venue choice.
Requirements for the ceremony's conduct differ between communities, so the officiating rabbi's guidance is the practical authority. Where a couple comes from different denominations, discussing this early prevents a difficult conversation close to the day.
The takeaway
The ceremony is two rites joined at the ketubah, and once you see the join the whole structure makes sense.
Protect the hour you will actually remember and let the rest be approximate.
Questions readers ask
Why is a glass broken at the end?
The most widely given explanation is remembrance of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, keeping an awareness of loss within a moment of joy. Other explanations are also offered within the tradition.
Can the ring exchange be mutual?
In egalitarian and progressive ceremonies it commonly is, while traditional practice has the groom giving the ring to the bride. Your officiating rabbi will explain what their community does.
